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25 Best Valentine’s Day Jokes – Cute and Funny Jokes for Valentine’s Day – countryliving.com

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After you’ve bought the perfect gift, planned a thoughtful date night, and crafted the perfect Valentine’s Day caption for Instagram, you have to tackle the hardest part of celebrating February 14: Writing a Valentine’s Day card.

Whether you’re penning a romantic letter to your sweetheart or dropping a short Valentine’s Day message in your kid’s lunchbox, the best way to win someone’s heart is by making them laugh. These cute and funny Valentine’s Day jokes are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved one LOL. From clever Valentine’s Day puns to corny one-liners to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles.

Need more inspiration for love-themed laughs? Check out these funny love quotes and sweet Valentine’s Day quotes.

Best Corny Valentine’s Day Jokes

Jose Luis Pelaez Inc

  • “What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?” “Be my Valen-slime!”
  • “What did the paper clip say to the magnet?” “I find you very attractive.”
  • “What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?” “I’m stuck on you!”
  • “Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?” “His heart wasn’t in it.”
  • “Why did the sheriff lock up their valentine?” “She stole their heart.”
  • “What do you call two birds in love?” “Tweethearts!”
  • “How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?” “It goes nuts!”
  • “I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. But when I got home the tables were turned.”
  • “I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.”
  • “What did the calculator say to the pencil?” “You can count on me.”
  • “How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?” “He gave her a ring!”

    Best Valentine’s Day Joke Puns

    Valentine's Day


    • “What did one watermelon say to the other?” “You’re one in a melon!”
    • “What do you call a very small Valentine?” “A valen-tiny.”
    • “What did the ghost say to his valentine?” “You look so BOOtiful.”
    • “If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.”
    • “What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?” “Lots of hogs and kisses.”
    • “What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that didn’t arrive time?” “Choco-late.”
    • “What did one bee say to the other?” “I love bee-ing with you, honey!”
    • “What did one volcano say to the other?” “I lava you.”
    • “What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?” “I love you berry much.”
    • “What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day?” “You’re purr-fect for me.”

      Best Valentine’s Day Knock-Knock Jokes

      Laughing girl and boy with sunglasses, hold candles heart form.


      • “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive you!”
      • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Peas.” “Peas who?” “Peas be mine!”
      • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Butch, Jimmy and Joe.” “Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?” “Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.”
      • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Disguise.” “Disguise who?” “Disguise is your boy friend!”

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