Hawke, the protagonist of Dragon Age 2, had some of the most buck-wild lines. This is especially the case if you picked the humorous options on the dialogue wheel. For good reason, a lot of fans began to call a Hawke who typically said the funny options as “troll Hawke.”
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There are tons of lines that fans remember from the game. Here are ten funny ones we particularly love that Hawke can say in Dragon Age 2.
10 “Don’t worry. Helping People And Killing People Are What I’m Best At.”
Honestly, this should be a line in a ton of the other adventure video games. Obviously, the NPC Hawke says this line to does not really know how to react to this. A real person would probably take this as a threat, but the character still hires Hawke anyway. Whether they regret this or not depends on Hawke’s actions. With that kind of line though, you would imagine that Hawke is trouble with a capital T.
9 “If They’re Not Dead, Watch Out For A Bunch Of Boneless Women Flopping Through The Streets.”
This line actually can make your companions mad. It is funny but very insensitive given what is going on. Funny Hawke either cannot read a room or just does not care.
The quote is from when Hawke investigates murders and finds a bag of bones. The man she or he is working with states that this means the woman they are looking for is dead. Then Hawke can say this crazy line!
8 “I’ve Been Stung By A Bee. Maker, Am I Dying?”
From the DLC, Mark of the Assassin, this quote is Hawke dialing up the drama at a party to create a distraction.
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Out of the many options, this was definitely the most fun. It also made fun of Orlesians, who typically are dramatic. They are taken a little more seriously in Dragon Age: Inquisition.
7 “She Spends Her Days Making Cakes And Poisons . . . Maker, Tell Me You Didn’t Try The Cake.”
Hawke can say this at the very beginning of Act 2 in the game. A dwarf comes to the family estate and starts making threats, most notably about Hawke’s mother. Hawke can be funny about it though and suggest that his or her mother might have poisoned the dwarf.
Obviously, that’s a lie, but it’s still funny. A lot of players probably wished it were true.
6 “. . . What’s A Mekel?”
This line is one of Hawke’s best insults in the game. During a certain questline, Hawke can meet a character named Mekel and kill him.
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Later in the same questline, you meet someone you says something along the line of, “You killed Mekel!” To which funny Hawke can respond with “What’s a Mekel?” As though its not even a name, but some kind of animal or item from the market.
5 “I Didn’t Order More. Where Are They Coming From?”
If you never heard this line, that is not so surprising since it is not part of Hawke’s dialogue wheel. If you choose a certain kind of dialogue enough, Hawke sometimes automatically says lines that fit into that personality. So diplomatic, aggressive, and funny Hawke all might say different things automatically in combat.
So during combat, if more enemies suddenly appear, funny Hawke can say, “I Didn’t Order More. Where Are They Coming From?” As if life is just one big restaurant menu.
4 “We Could Bring Him Back As The Undead And Kill Him Again.”
That’s one fun aspect of any fantasy setting: necromancy! Like the boneless women quote, this is another of Hawke’s insensitive-but-funny lines. With how many deaths Hawke witnesses and their line of work, can we really blame them for not getting shaken up by killing?
While this joke is quite funny, necromancy is not practiced by any of Hawke’s companions or available for a mage Hawke to learn. Maybe ask Dorian from Inquisition.
3 “Tell Me You Didn’t Bring The Killer Mirror To Kirkwall Just Because It’s Pretty.”
Even if you never heard this line, it is pretty obvious what Hawke is talking about if you played Dragon Age 2. He or she is speaking of Merrill’s magical demon mirror. The mirror is the reason she gets kicked out of her clan. She wants to fix it since it holds the secrets of the ancient elves. However, it is very dangerous.
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Depending on whether you want rivals or friends, you can either discourage Merrill’s interest in her mirror or encourage her to fix it. No matter what you choose though, Act 3 definitely proves that the mirror is one of the worst things to ever happen to Merrill.
2 “Oh, Cloak And Dagger Phrases. How about, ‘The Queasy Crow Flies At Midnight?'”
“Cloak and dagger” refers to situations that involve secrets, espionage, and mystery. Hawke says this quote in a conversation with Mistress Selby, who says back “How about, the smart-mouthed Fereldan gets slapped across the face?’”
Selby is a mage sympathizer, so she does require a lot of secrecy. On the darker side of things, her sister is a tranquil mage. She is in the quests, The Underground RailroadHow to Frame a Templar, and Search and Rescue.
1 “Last Night I Saw Ser Conrad Sacrificing A Goat . . . To The Great Demon. Then He Howled. Loudly.”
Kirkwall is a nest of Templar and mage-based drama and quests. Hawke basically is forced to choose a side at the end. Until then, though, you can mess around with the two factions a lot. In one instance, Hawke can say this line to some drunk Templar.
The drunk Templar is Roderick and he is so drunk that he actually believes Hawke. Hawke eloquently continues this story with, “Oh, yes. He was carrying on about how much he wanted to do demony things.” Then Roderick freaks out and says this needs to be reported.
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