Home Best jokes The best jokes from Disneyland’s Jungle Cruise ride – Newshub

The best jokes from Disneyland’s Jungle Cruise ride – Newshub

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Some like rolling their eyes more than rollercoasters. Credits: Video – Caters; Image – Disney

At some theme parks in North America, corny jokes can provide just as much amusment as the rides themselves.

A new example has been captured on video at Disney World in Florida, where an enthusiastic guide makes a joke about how to scare off any hippos who may be wanting to attack their boat.

“I’ll do what I did to my ex-girlfriends, I’ll tell them I love them and want commitment and we will never hear from them again,” the guide says in the video.

He then puts the microphone down, leans out of the boat and shouts: “I love you! I want to commit!”

But this joke isn’t the best to come out of the Jungle Cruise ride.

There are dozens of blogs online that have been collating some of the jokes people have heard while riding the attraction.

Here’s some of the best: 
 

I get paid for the number of people I take out… not the number I bring back!

Everyone, turn around and wave goodbye to the folks back on the dock… they may never see you again.

You know, they say you can always judge the quality of a ride by its line, how long did you folks wait? My point exactly.

Now please watch out for these carnivorous vines. Last week, one of them reached into the back of the boat and pulled a woman right out. It was awful! And just before she disappeared, she was feeling just vine.

Do you know what the difference between the crocodiles and alligators is? The crocodiles are made of plastic and the alligators are made with fiberglass.

You know the crocs are always looking for a hand out. But be careful – I once had an English teacher onboard, she didn’t listen to me and now she’s teaching shorthand.

See that elephant right ther?,Tthat’s the richest elephant in the whole jungle. It’s ‘Donald Trunk’.

See that bamboo over there? It grows to be six storeys tall. People say it can grow to seven storeys, but that’s a whole other story.

Dad joke wars – Vote for the best Disneyland Dad Joke

The ride opened in 1983 and since then has operated just under 2000 rides an hour, each lasting seven minutes.

Variations of the ride operate at namely Disneyland in Anaheim, Magic Kingdom in Florida, Tokyo Disneyland and Hong Kong Disneyland.

In 2016, Disney officials decided to remove the line “watch your children, or the crocodiles will”, following the death of a two-year-old boy caused by an alligator attack at a Walt Disney World Resort hotel.

Newshub/Caters

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